We at the Clog like fruit as much as the next college student trying to supplement their diet of chips with some nutritious food, but we’ve run into a couple of problems. As amazing as summer fruits are, it’s too expensive to buy them all, and even when you buy fruit, you have to eat it right away before it gets too ripe or starts molding. So you don’t have to try all the fruits yourselves, we at the Clog have compiled a power ranking of the best summer fruits, evaluated on a range of very important factors.
1. Mango
Balance of sweetness and tang: 5/5
Delicious fruit of the gods. Have you ever had a bad mango? Didn’t think so. Perfect sweetness/tanginess ratio, great texture (slimy, but in a good way).
Availability and price: 4/5
Hard to find unfortunately, but you can get some mangoes for relatively cheap.
Convenience: 3/5
Difficult to cut—where does the pit start and where does it end? The world may never know. And you have to peel it? But once you cut those slimy chunks, they are amazingly satisfying to eat.
Vibes: 5/5
Amazing vibes. You will feel happier if you eat this fruit. Feels fancy to eat.
2. Peach
Balance of sweetness and tang: 4/5
Sometimes you just get a sour one even when it seems squishy enough. And then what can you do but cry and eat your sour peach? Also, not as good as a nectarine.
Availability and price: 4/5
Not too bad, not too bad.
Convenience: 3.5/5
Those little hairs on the outside of the peach can be somewhat irritating, but overall not a difficult fruit to eat, unless you get a super juicy one and end up needing to wash your hands 5 times to get the juice off.
Vibes: 4.5/5
Major summer vibes. You are not allowed to eat these during any other season.
3. Watermelon
Balance of sweetness and tang: 5/5
Sweet as heck, but not in an overwhelming way because of how watery and crunchy the texture is. Those textures don’t seem to go together, but watermelon is the fruit that aligns water with crunch.
Availability and price: 3/5
You can get ‘em anywhere, but they can be kinda expensive, especially if you buy it without really knowing the price and end up with a seven dollar watermelon. We at the Clog advise you to weigh your watermelons and calculate the price before you buy them.
Convenience: 3/5
Have you ever tried to cut a watermelon? It is not that easy. Broke college students who own two knives, this fruit is not for you.
Vibes: 5/5
Eat this outside or something won’t feel right. Transports you to the last barbeque you attended.
4. Cherry
Balance of sweetness and tang: 5/5
Classic flavor combination, very sweet but not aggressive enough that you need to drink water while you eat
Availability and price: 3/5
OK, kind of expensive, but mostly worth it. You can find them anywhere, and depending on where you live you can find great local ones for a good price.
Convenience: 3.5/5
Honestly pits are kind of annoying, but on the upside, they slow you down so you don’t eat the whole bag in one go. I’m counting pits as a positive here.
Vibes: 4/5
Fun to eat. Kind of adorable. Pile of pits looks a little gross, which detracts from the experience.
5. Pineapple
Balance of sweetness and tang: 3/5.
OK, she is tangy. Too tangy. I would rather eat a fruit that does not burn my mouth when I eat too much of it. But to be fair, the ripe, sweet ones can be worth the pain.
Availability and price: 4/5
She’s expensive, and also hard to find. At least hard to find in whole pineapple form rather than precut.
Convenience: 2/5
Cutting—very difficult. Eating—very difficult. My mouth hurts just thinking about this.
Vibes: 4/5
Only cool people eat this fruit. The fruit itself feels too cool. You could make a fun hat out of the rind.
6. Blackberries/raspberries/other berries that didn’t make this list
Balance of sweetness and tang: 3/5
Definitely a chance of just ending up with all sour fruit even though they look good. But when they’re good, they’re really good.
Availability and price: 2/5
Berries are expensive as heck. Sure, they’re available, but do you ever actually buy them? No, because they’re so expensive.
Convenience: 3.5/5
You better eat them quick because otherwise, they’re just going to go bad on you. Pro tip: Only wash the ones you’re going to eat right away. Or just eat them all right away.
Vibes: 3/5
Yummy, but so unattainable. They’re too good for broke college students.
There you have it, the Clog’s power ranking of summer fruits. Now, you won’t have to break the bank to end up with fruit that was a little too sour anyways. We wish that all your pineapples are appropriately tangy, and that your watermelons cut easily.
Contact Elysa Dombro at [email protected].
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