Note: It’s August, the time many pundits and commentators head for the beach or the mountains to recharge their batteries. Since I already live in bumpy terrain and the one beach destination I would opt for on the tip of the Cape has become a hot zone for the Delta variant, I’ll stick around. However, I will avoid taxing my brain too much by taking a mini-vacation of sorts, going after the low-hanging fruit, of which thankfully there appears no shortage.
•••••
Beginning with arguably the lowest-hanging fruit in the orchard: A man who has, in the short time out of his neighbor’s medicine cabinet, apparently fetishized getting his butt handed to him on national television. Of course we’re talking Mike Lyndell, aka “The Pillow Guy,” a fervent acolyte of “The Big Lie” and so completely immersed in abject lunacy, he was denied entry to the Previous Guy’s White House. Quite a feat, considering the Felonious Former extended open arms to the likes of Ted Nugent, Kid Rock and even Sarah Palin. It’s titillating to imagine this quartet wading into those high-level foreign policy discussions for which Palin is internationally revered.
Speaking of the former Alaskan governor, who dumped her constituents midterm to hit the lucrative rubber chicken circuit, she recently told Che’Ahn, the leader of the “New Apostolic Reformation” (whatever that is) she would be running for a U.S. Senate seat if God wants her to. Supporting that disturbing possibility, “prophet” Cindy Jacobs prayed over Palin, sparking the declaration “God” is raising up an “army of pastors and intercessors that will take her all the way to the top.”
Appearing at the “Stop the Steal” rally in Washington the night before the Capitol insurrection, Ahn said: “We’re going to throw Jezebel out and Jehu’s gonna rise up, and we’re gonna rule and reign through Tr**p and the lordship of Jesus Christ.” Firing a warning shot into the crowd, Palin quickly showed how, in the right hands, stupidity can rise to an art form and how she’d fit right in with the GOP leadership mangling history, raving incorrectly in July that “America was dedicated to God” and “Our charters of liberty are written about and dedicated to God.”
Meanwhile, from the hills of Central Jersey, the Walking Hate Crime offered his patriotic support for the U.S. women’s soccer team, pointing out it would have won the Olympic gold instead of the bronze if they “weren’t woke” and headed by “a radical group of leftist maniacs,” suggesting “woke means you lose” and “everything woke goes bad, and our soccer team certainly has.”
Reserving specific criticism for Megan Rapinoe: ”The woman with the purple hair played terribly and spends too much time thinking about Radical Left politics and not doing her job.” Wait, what? Of all people, He of the Golden Fonzie has the audacity to criticize someone’s hair! And he can add soccer to the multitude of things he knows absolutely nothing about. Rapinoe scored two spectacular goals: one a laser beam, the other on a beautifully curling corner kick.
However distracted we might be by the the shiny object Republicans of all stripes provide on a daily basis, bipartisanship was in full flower during what can only be called “Governor’s Week,” with Democrat Andrew Cuomo quickly gaining ground on Texas’ Greg Abbot and Ron DeSantis of Florida in the pitched battle for the worst state executive in the country. Trading mass casualty events and some of the dumbest things ever said as the Delta variant ravaged their states, Vanity Fair pegged DeSantis ahead by a slim margin in a “race to the bottom,” citing not only his rules preventing mask and even vaccine requirements going into effect, but the boneheaded ploy of cutting funding for schools daring to implement any safety measures, effectively criminalizing health mandates.
Not to be outdone, Abbott made his own overtures to the anti-vaxxers and Covid deniers through the Texas Education Agency, going a step further than making vaccinations and masking optional by recommending the state’s schools not do contact tracing or even inform parents that a student has tested positive for the virus. Under the new “guidance,” a parent can still send their child to school even if they’ve come in contact with an infected person.
That the virus unchecked has ample opportunity to continue mutating, eventually becoming vaccine-resistant, is evidently of no concern to either governor. If stupidity of this level continues, according to Dr. Anthony Fauci, we may “sooner or later get another variant … in some respects worse than the difficult variant we’re dealing with now.”
Speaking of mutations, that resounding thud heard echoing through Albany midweek was the burned-out star of Cuomo’s political career smashing into the northern Catskills. Once “America’s Governor,” his open, compassionate handling of the pandemic’s early stages gained wide attention even as multiple accusations of sexual impropriety remained temporarily in the background. Alone now and increasingly isolated, Cuomo was facing impeachment as he threw in the towel, his resignation on Tuesday marking an ignominious end to what was once considered a trajectory with national implications.
Back in sultry Florida, with the entrenched DeSantis and Burmese pythons slithering through the plumbing, GOP official Peter Feaman equates vaccinations with “The Mark of the Beast,” referencing the evangelicals’ favorite downstairs neighbor turned diabolical pharmacist, offering the Sunshine State’s River Dippers, Snake Handlers and the rest of the Southern Fried Dingbats one more twisted evangelical option. Rather than sacrificing their vaccine-free lives in the name of Republican politics, now they can off themselves via unvaccinated martyrdom, not just “owning the libs” but maybe even “rising up” with Jehu in the process.
Oh, wait. There’s another choice we forgot. They could also, as weird as it sounds, wear masks, have their children vaccinated and do their bit to make the country — even Florida and Texas — safer for everyone. What would Jehu do?
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August 15, 2021 at 11:15PM
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Walt Amses: So much low-hanging fruit, I can’t pick just one target - vtdigger.org
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